Back on the Wagon..

This is my first post in a few weeks; no excuses except I've been a slacker. You know how 'life' gets in the way, things start going on, you get stressed, so the first thing you do is stop doing the one thing that you really need to keep on doing?? That's been me.

In just the few weeks that I've kinda' stopped doing what I had been doing, my body is telling me something is wrong; my back has started hurting, my energy level has went down, and I have a hard time getting to sleep and staying that way. It's almost amazing how quick you can go into a downward spiral fall.
So I've decided I am going to jump back in, feet first, and get  back on the wagon. I can not let day to day trials keep me from finding me, being a better me. 

This Monday on Mamavation T.V. they are going to be discussing childhood abuse and how it leads to obesity; I can say that I had a wonderful supportive, loving family as a kid. But school was always a different story. I don't have a story of not having any friends, or being a 'nerd'. In fact, I was an athlete I played basketball, softball, track whatever I could find to do. BUT I was always bigger then everyone else. No matter how much I worked out/trained, no matter how little I ate, I was never ever a size 2. Or even a 6 for that matter; I was a 9/10 at my smallest and that was never small enough. I had big thighs from my years of sports, that I would always hide in long shorts, jeans, or an oversized t-shirt. I didn't know how to be 'feminine', so I played the tomboy in all aspects. 

As I got older my insecurities combined with very strict parents I searched for acceptance and love with drinking and sex. A man that showed me attention, even if it was just to sleep with me, gave me a confidence boost, and I came off as a very confident & cocky woman. I was neither of these, in fact, quite the opposite.
This lead me to be in a very abusive (both physically & mentally) relationship with a man who now is the 'sperm donor' of my 2 daughter's. I stuck around for 7 years before I started to realize I deserved better. Now, 7 years later, I still sometimes feel those same insecurities and fears even in the wonderful healthy relationship I am in now. All because of the bullying, and insecurities I felt as a child.
If there is one thing in this life that I do, it's to make sure my daughter's (and my son) realize how valuable they are as a person inside, not just out. That they are beautiful whether they weigh 100 lbs, or 300 lbs. That health is not about weight, but taking care of yourself and being happy.

Goals for the week:

- Pack my lunch everyday for work

- Drink at least 100 oz of water per day

- Walk with my kids, at least 2 miles

- Eat more fresh food, non processed

- Get my kids thinking HEALTHY HEALTHY, HEALTHY!

This week’s blogging carnival is sponsored by @GoVidaFoods. Two blogging carnival participants will each receive a food basket from our sponsor.